Lying for Attention: Psychology, Causes & How to Stop

Defining the Behaviour

Lying for attention is a distinct pattern of deceptive behaviour in which an individual fabricates stories, exaggerates real events, or strategically omits important details with the specific goal of attracting notice, sympathy, admiration, or concern from others. Unlike lies told to avoid punishment, protect feelings, or gain material advantage, attention-seeking lies are fundamentally driven by an emotional need for recognition and validation.

Every human being seeks attention to some degree. From infancy, we learn that crying, smiling, and vocalising attract the care of caregivers — healthy, adaptive behaviour supporting survival and social bonding. Problems arise when the need for attention becomes so intense or poorly regulated that a person employs deception as their primary strategy for fulfilling it.

Research into the frequency of everyday lying provides important context. The seminal diary study by Bella DePaulo and colleagues found that college students reported telling approximately 2 lies per day, while community members averaged about 1 lie per day [1]Verified Lying in Everyday Life
Confirms people lie in approximately 25% of daily social interactions; college students told 2 lies/day, community members told 1. A later large-scale study tracking over 116,000 lies told by 632 participants across 91 days confirmed that roughly 75% of people tell zero to two lies daily [2]Verified Deception is associated with reduced social connection
Demonstrates that deception reduces closeness and social connection even when lies go undetected; lying causes lie-tellers to feel less close to conversational partners. Importantly, a University of Massachusetts study found that approximately 60% of adults cannot go 10 minutes in conversation without lying at least once [3]Verified Can Pathological Liars Be Cured? / Pathological Lying: Psychotherapists' Experiences and Ability to Diagnose
Confirms CBT as leading treatment recommended by licensed psychologists for pathological lying; 90% of people report interacting with a pathological liar; habit reversal training effective. This suggests that while deception is common in everyday social life, attention-seeking lying represents a more extreme and persistent pattern that goes well beyond normal social lubrication.

The Spectrum of Attention-Seeking Behaviour

Attention-seeking exists on a spectrum. At one end are normal, healthy behaviours — sharing accomplishments, expressing emotions, and participating in social interactions. In the middle are mildly exaggerated behaviours — embellishing a story for comedic effect or slightly overstating an achievement. At the far end lies pathological attention-seeking, including chronic fabrication, manufacturing crises, feigning illness, and consistently deceiving others for emotional gain.

Understanding where a person falls on this spectrum is critical for determining whether their behaviour represents a minor social habit, a coping mechanism benefiting from self-awareness, or a clinical issue requiring professional intervention. Mental health professionals working with deceptive individuals often recommend comprehensive assessment before labelling behaviour as pathological, as context matters enormously. The foundational work of Healy and Healy on pathological lying in forensic psychology identified that among 1,000 juvenile offenders studied, only approximately 8–10 were genuine pathological liars — showing that truly pathological deception is relatively rare but causes disproportionate harm [4]Verified Pathological Lying, Accusation, and Swindling: A Study in Forensic Psychology
Among 1,000 juvenile offenders studied, 8-10 were genuine pathological liars showing excessive falsification disproportionate to any discernible goal.

For those dealing with trust issues caused by a partner or family member's attention-seeking lies, understanding these underlying mechanisms is the first step toward healing. In some cases, couples or families seek verification through private lie detector tests as part of a broader trust-rebuilding process.

Fabrication, Exaggeration, and Omission

Attention-seeking lies come in several distinct forms, each with its own characteristics, motivations, and consequences. Recognising the specific type is essential for choosing the right intervention.

Fabrication involves creating entirely false stories from scratch — inventing scenarios, events, or experiences that never occurred. Examples include claiming a dramatic personal tragedy, inventing a prestigious accomplishment, or fabricating a medical condition. Fabrication is the most elaborate form and often requires maintaining an increasingly complex web of false narratives.

Exaggeration takes a kernel of truth and inflates it dramatically. A minor fender-bender becomes a horrific accident; a routine disagreement transforms into an abusive encounter; a modest accomplishment is presented as extraordinary. This is the most common form of attention-seeking lying because it contains enough truth to seem plausible while being amplified to maximise emotional impact.

Omission involves strategically leaving out key details to create a misleading impression. By selectively presenting only certain facts, the person shapes others' perceptions without technically making a false statement. This form is particularly insidious because the liar can claim they 'never lied' — they simply didn't tell the whole truth. It is commonly used to garner sympathy by presenting oneself as a victim. Understanding these nuances parallels the approach taken when studying careless liars and their traits.

False Victimhood and the Escalation Pattern

False victimhood is a specific subcategory combining elements of fabrication, exaggeration, and omission. The individual systematically positions themselves as the victim of circumstances, other people, or society at large. Every narrative is framed to elicit sympathy and concern. This pattern is particularly damaging because it can lead to false accusations against innocent people, creating real harm beyond the lies themselves.

One of the most concerning aspects of attention-seeking lying is its tendency to escalate. When a dramatic story generates the desired attention, the reward reinforces the behaviour. However, the emotional impact of any particular story diminishes over time — listeners become accustomed to the drama, or the story loses its novelty. This creates pressure to escalate: to tell bigger lies, manufacture more dramatic scenarios, or claim more extreme experiences.

Research on the cognitive demands of lying helps explain this escalation. A meta-analysis of 114 studies with 3,307 participants revealed a large standardised reaction-time difference (d = 1.049) between lying and truth-telling — demonstrating that deception carries substantial cognitive costs [5]Verified Lying and Psychology
Meta-analysis of 114 studies (n=3307) showing large RT difference (d=1.049) between lying and truth-telling, confirming substantial cognitive cost of deception. Over time, as lies become habitual, the escalation cycle can lead to increasingly dangerous territory. What begins as mild embellishment may progress to fabricating medical conditions — a pattern consistent with factitious disorder (formerly Munchausen syndrome) — making false accusations of abuse, or creating fictional crises that mobilise significant resources and emotional energy from others [6]Verified Factitious Disorder Imposed on Self (Formerly Munchausen Syndrome)
Confirms factitious disorder involves deliberate fabrication of symptoms for attention; describes risk factors and treatment approaches.

Low Self-Esteem and Inadequacy

Perhaps the most common root cause of attention-seeking lying is chronically low self-esteem. Individuals who do not feel inherently valuable or worthy of love and attention may resort to fabrication to artificially elevate their perceived worth. By presenting a more dramatic, accomplished, or sympathetic version of themselves, they hope to receive the positive regard they feel unable to earn authentically.

Research in social psychology consistently shows that self-esteem plays a crucial role in social behaviour. People with healthy self-esteem generally feel secure enough to seek attention through genuine connection. Those with low self-esteem may perceive their real selves as insufficient, leading them to construct a false persona they believe will be more worthy of attention. Research has identified that insecurity predicts the telling of both self-serving lies and altruistic lies — people low in self-esteem lack the confidence to express genuine opinions [1]Verified Lying in Everyday Life
Confirms people lie in approximately 25% of daily social interactions; college students told 2 lies/day, community members told 1.

The tragic irony is that lying for attention typically worsens self-esteem over time. Each lie reinforces the belief that the person's true self is inadequate — that they need fabrication to be interesting or worthy. This creates a self-perpetuating cycle that becomes increasingly difficult to break without intervention. Those who recognise this pattern in themselves may find our pathological liar self-assessment a helpful starting point.

Childhood Neglect and Attachment Disruption

Early childhood experiences profoundly shape our relationship with attention and validation. Children who experience emotional neglect — whose caregivers are consistently unavailable, dismissive, or unresponsive to their emotional needs — may develop maladaptive strategies for securing attention. Lying for attention is one such strategy.

Attachment theory, developed by John Bowlby and expanded by Mary Ainsworth, provides a useful framework. Children who develop insecure attachment styles — particularly anxious-preoccupied attachment — tend to exhibit heightened attention-seeking behaviour throughout their lives. They may have learned that normal expressions of need were insufficient to capture their caregiver's attention, and that only dramatic, extreme, or crisis-level situations would elicit a response.

This early learning persists well into adulthood, manifesting as a deeply ingrained belief that genuine emotional needs will not be met unless amplified through exaggeration or fabrication. For many individuals who lie for attention, the behaviour feels more like survival than choice — a deeply conditioned response to perceived emotional scarcity. This aligns with findings on how memory and recall influence behaviour patterns later in life.

Trauma, Social Learning, and Digital Reinforcement

Traumatic experiences, particularly those occurring in childhood or involving interpersonal violence, can significantly contribute to attention-seeking lying. Trauma often disrupts emotional regulation, making it difficult for individuals to manage their need for connection through healthy means. For trauma survivors, lying for attention may serve multiple functions: expressing emotional pain indirectly, testing whether others truly care, maintaining control over social situations, or avoiding the vulnerability required for authentic emotional expression.

Human beings are social learners. If an individual grows up in an environment where lying is modelled as an effective strategy for gaining attention — whether by parents, siblings, peers, or cultural figures — they may adopt this behaviour themselves. Similarly, if early attempts at attention-seeking lying are successful, the behaviour is reinforced through operant conditioning.

Social media environments have added a powerful new dimension. Platforms that reward dramatic content with likes, shares, and comments create an environment where exaggeration and fabrication receive massive positive reinforcement. Research confirms that lying can become addictive, with the brain releasing dopamine when successfully deceiving others [3]Verified Can Pathological Liars Be Cured? / Pathological Lying: Psychotherapists' Experiences and Ability to Diagnose
Confirms CBT as leading treatment recommended by licensed psychologists for pathological lying; 90% of people report interacting with a pathological liar; habit reversal training effective. This neurological reward loop, combined with the unprecedented reach of social media, further normalises and incentivises attention-seeking lies. The phenomenon of 'Munchausen by Internet' — where individuals feign illness in online support communities — illustrates how digital environments can amplify factitious behaviour [7]Verified Factitious Disorders: Background, Diagnostic Criteria, Epidemiology
Confirms Munchausen by Internet as emerging form of factitious behaviour; high comorbidity with cluster B personality disorders; factitious disorder most common in women aged 20-40.

Narcissistic and Borderline Personality Disorders

While anyone can occasionally lie for attention, persistent and extreme patterns are often associated with specific personality disorders. Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) is characterised by a pervasive pattern of grandiosity, a deep need for admiration, and a lack of empathy. Individuals with NPD often fabricate or exaggerate accomplishments, talents, and importance. Their lies tend to be grandiose — claims of exceptional achievement, important connections, or superior abilities. Unlike other attention-seeking liars who may seek sympathy, narcissistic liars primarily seek admiration and awe. Beneath the grandiosity lies a deeply vulnerable sense of self that cannot tolerate being perceived as ordinary or flawed.

Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) involves intense emotional instability, fear of abandonment, unstable self-image, and impulsive behaviour. Individuals with BPD may lie for attention as part of desperate attempts to avoid real or perceived abandonment. Research has demonstrated that BPD is linked to abnormalities in brain regions governing emotional regulation, such as the amygdala and prefrontal cortex, contributing to impulsivity and compulsive lying [8]Verified BPD and Lying: Understanding the Connection
Confirms BPD linked to abnormalities in amygdala and prefrontal cortex affecting emotional regulation and compulsive lying. Unlike narcissistic lying, which tends to be strategic, BPD-related lying is often more chaotic and emotionally driven — fabricating crises, exaggerating emotional distress, or making dramatic statements to prevent perceived abandonment.

Understanding the psychology behind why individuals with these disorders might engage with deception verification is explored in our guide on why someone lying might agree to a polygraph test.

Histrionic Personality Disorder and Factitious Disorder

Histrionic Personality Disorder (HPD) is perhaps the personality disorder most directly associated with attention-seeking. Individuals with HPD exhibit pervasive attention-seeking behaviour, including excessive emotionality, theatrical expression, suggestibility, and a need to be the centre of attention. Lying in HPD often involves dramatic exaggeration of experiences and emotions, combined with a flair for storytelling that can be quite compelling.

Factitious disorder (formerly Munchausen syndrome) represents an extreme form of attention-seeking lying in which the individual fabricates or induces physical or psychological symptoms to assume the sick role. The primary motivation is to receive care, attention, and sympathy [6]Verified Factitious Disorder Imposed on Self (Formerly Munchausen Syndrome)
Confirms factitious disorder involves deliberate fabrication of symptoms for attention; describes risk factors and treatment approaches. It is estimated that approximately 1% of patients in hospital settings meet the criteria for factitious disorder [9]Verified Factitious Disorder (Munchausen Syndrome)
Confirms estimated 1% of hospital patients meet criteria for factitious disorder; incidence rate 6.8 per 100,000 patients. When the individual fabricates symptoms in someone under their care (typically a child), it is classified as factitious disorder imposed on another (FDIA), with more than 90% of such cases involving the mother [10]Verified Factitious disorder imposed on another
Confirms more than 90% of FDIA cases involve the mother; condition first named in 1977 by Roy Meadow. This remains one of the most dangerous manifestations of attention-seeking behaviour.

About 90% of people report having interacted with a pathological liar, and they note that lying is often a central feature of the person's identity [3]Verified Can Pathological Liars Be Cured? / Pathological Lying: Psychotherapists' Experiences and Ability to Diagnose
Confirms CBT as leading treatment recommended by licensed psychologists for pathological lying; 90% of people report interacting with a pathological liar; habit reversal training effective. Understanding these clinical presentations helps polygraph examiners and mental health professionals distinguish between calculated deception and psychologically driven behaviour. For broader context on how deception intersects with personality, see our guide on sociopathic liars.

The Erosion of Trust

The consequences of lying for attention extend far beyond the liar themselves. Trust is the foundation of every meaningful relationship. When someone discovers that a person they care about has been lying for attention, the resulting sense of betrayal can be devastating, raising painful questions: 'What else have they lied about?' 'Can I believe anything they say?' 'Was any of our connection authentic?'

Research published in the journal Nature Communications provides compelling evidence that deception damages social connection even when lies go undetected. Participants who were randomly assigned to lie during a conversation reported feeling less close to their conversational partners compared to those who told the truth — suggesting that deception reduces closeness from the lie-teller's perspective, even before discovery [2]Verified Deception is associated with reduced social connection
Demonstrates that deception reduces closeness and social connection even when lies go undetected; lying causes lie-tellers to feel less close to conversational partners. This finding underscores why systematic deception — lying as a habitual behaviour — is particularly destructive, undermining not just trust in specific statements but trust in the person's character and intentions.

For couples grappling with the aftermath of discovered attention-seeking lies, rebuilding trust is one of the most challenging processes they will face. Some couples choose to incorporate polygraph testing as part of a structured accountability framework during recovery, an approach explored in our guide on emotional affairs and recovery.

Communication Breakdown and Emotional Toll on Loved Ones

Once attention-seeking lying is uncovered, communication in the relationship often deteriorates significantly. The deceived party begins filtering everything through a lens of suspicion. The liar, feeling exposed and defensive, may withdraw, escalate their lying, or become hostile when confronted. This breakdown can create a toxic cycle: the more suspicious the partner becomes, the more the liar feels misunderstood, which can paradoxically increase attention-seeking behaviour.

Partners, family members, and friends of attention-seeking liars often experience significant emotional distress including compassion fatigue from repeatedly responding to manufactured crises, self-doubt and questioning of their own perceptions (a form of gaslighting effect), guilt about doubting the person's stories, anger and resentment at being manipulated, and hypervigilance involving constant monitoring and fact-checking. These experiences mirror many of the emotional signs of infidelity that partners report in cases of relationship deception.

Breaking this cycle typically requires professional intervention, including couples therapy and, in some cases, individual therapy for both partners. Truth-Default Theory explains why partners are often slow to detect deception — humans naturally operate from a presumption of honesty, and it takes substantial evidence for truth-default triggers to fail [11]Verified Truth-default theory and the psychology of lying and deception detection
Advances moderators affecting acceptance of implausible false information: own belief congruity, social congruence, and message repetition.

Anxiety, Guilt, and Identity Confusion

Chronic attention-seeking lying takes a substantial psychological toll on the liar themselves. Maintaining a web of lies requires constant cognitive effort — the liar must remember what they've told to whom, ensure consistency across different audiences, and remain alert for signs that their deception is being questioned. This creates chronic anxiety and hypervigilance that can be exhausting and debilitating.

The cognitive demands of deception are well-documented. Neuroimaging studies demonstrate that lying recruits brain regions responsible for executive control, inhibitory control, task switching, and working memory [5]Verified Lying and Psychology
Meta-analysis of 114 studies (n=3307) showing large RT difference (d=1.049) between lying and truth-telling, confirming substantial cognitive cost of deception. The prefrontal cortex bears the heaviest burden during deception, simultaneously suppressing the honest response, constructing a false narrative, monitoring it for internal consistency, and predicting the listener's reaction [12]Verified Neuroscience Of Lying: How Deception Rewires Your Brain
Confirms deception requires simultaneous activation of prefrontal cortex, anterior cingulate cortex, amygdala, and insula; Sean Spence's fMRI research on ventrolateral prefrontal activation during lying. For habitual liars, this ongoing cognitive burden manifests as chronic stress, difficulty concentrating, sleep disturbances, and pervasive unease.

Most people who lie for attention experience guilt and shame about their behaviour — even if they struggle to stop. This creates cognitive dissonance: the internal conflict between knowing that lying is wrong and continuing to do it. Research on guilt and deception has revealed that guilty individuals demonstrate a distinctive two-stage attentional process: automatic initial orientation toward relevant information followed by strategic avoidance [13]Verified Guilt, Lying, and Attentional Avoidance of Concealed Information
Guilty individuals demonstrated a two-stage attentional process: automatic orientation toward crime-relevant information followed by strategic avoidance. Chronic guilt and shame are strongly associated with depression and other mental health problems. The shame of being a 'liar' can become a core component of self-identity, paradoxically reinforcing the low self-esteem driving the behaviour.

Over time, habitual attention-seeking lying can lead to genuine identity confusion. When a person has spent years constructing and presenting a false version of themselves, the boundary between the real self and the fabricated self becomes blurred — manifesting as feelings of emptiness, detachment, and uncertainty about genuine values and history.

Social Isolation and the Paradox of Attention-Seeking

Ironically, the behaviour designed to attract attention ultimately tends to drive people away. As lies are discovered or others begin to sense inauthenticity, the liar's social circle contracts. Friends, partners, and family members distance themselves for self-protection. Research confirms that people who lie more frequently tend to experience greater loneliness, mediated by reduced interpersonal trust [2]Verified Deception is associated with reduced social connection
Demonstrates that deception reduces closeness and social connection even when lies go undetected; lying causes lie-tellers to feel less close to conversational partners.

This isolation can trigger a dangerous escalation cycle. As genuine social connections are lost, the person may feel even more desperate for attention, leading to more extreme fabrications, which drive more people away. Without intervention, this pattern can result in profound social isolation and mental health deterioration.

Understanding why guilty individuals might take a lie detector test often reveals the desperation that chronic liars feel — many genuinely want to prove they can change.

Key Warning Signs

Recognising attention-seeking lies requires understanding the patterns that distinguish them from ordinary social deception. Key indicators include:

Inconsistencies in stories — details change between tellings, or accounts don't align with known facts. Dramatic escalation — stories grow more extreme over time as the person seeks to maintain the same level of attention. Constant need for validation — the individual frequently seeks reassurance, sympathy, or admiration. One-directional conversations — interactions consistently revolve around the person's experiences, problems, or achievements. Crisis manufacturing — repeated emergencies or dramatic events that conveniently require others' support and attention. Victimhood positioning — the individual is always the wronged party in every narrative.

Research on deception cues suggests that popular beliefs about how liars behave are largely mistaken [14]Verified Detecting lies and deceit: The psychology of lying and implications for professional practice
Confirms popular beliefs about how liars behave are largely mistaken; no single reliable behavioural indicator of deception. There is no single reliable behavioural indicator of lying. Instead, attention-seeking lying is best identified through pattern recognition — observing consistent themes of drama, escalation, and attention-directed narratives over time.

When verbal and behavioural assessment alone is insufficient, professional polygraph examination can provide an additional layer of verification. Understanding how polygraph results work and what inconclusive outcomes mean is important for anyone considering this option.

Polygraph as an Accountability Tool

Polygraph testing can serve as a valuable component of trust recovery when attention-seeking lying has severely damaged relationships. While it is not a standalone solution, incorporating polygraph examination into a broader therapeutic framework offers several benefits.

For the deceived partner, polygraph results can provide clarity and reassurance during a period of profound uncertainty. For the person who has been lying, the examination can serve as an external accountability mechanism that reinforces therapeutic goals. The structured nature of a polygraph examination — with its clear questions and definitive results — can cut through the ambiguity that characterises the aftermath of discovered deception.

The history of polygraph science spans over fifty years of development, from early techniques to modern approaches involving the Comparison Question Test (CQT) and the Concealed Information Test (CIT) [15]Verified Psychology and the Lie Detector Industry: A Fifty-Year Perspective
Comprehensive 50-year retrospective on polygraph science reviewing evolution of CQT, CIT, and screening tests. Polygraph examiners working with subjects who have personality disorders such as NPD or BPD face unique challenges. Emotional volatility, dissociative tendencies, and the complex relationship between genuine distress and fabricated narratives require examiners to have specialised training and awareness. Understanding factors like respiratory suppression and cardiovascular arousal is essential for accurate assessment.

It is important to note that polygraph testing is most effective when used alongside professional therapy, not as a replacement for it. The combination of therapeutic intervention and structured accountability through polygraph examination provides the most promising pathway for couples working to rebuild trust after a pattern of attention-seeking deception. Book a polygraph test to discuss whether this approach may be appropriate for your situation.

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT)

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy is the leading recommended treatment for pathological and compulsive lying. In a study of licensed psychologists, most practitioners indicated CBT as the primary treatment for pathological lying [3]Verified Can Pathological Liars Be Cured? / Pathological Lying: Psychotherapists' Experiences and Ability to Diagnose
Confirms CBT as leading treatment recommended by licensed psychologists for pathological lying; 90% of people report interacting with a pathological liar; habit reversal training effective. CBT helps individuals identify and change dysfunctional thinking patterns — such as a yearning for attention — that trigger the urge to lie, and identifies alternative, more honest patterns of responding [3]Verified Can Pathological Liars Be Cured? / Pathological Lying: Psychotherapists' Experiences and Ability to Diagnose
Confirms CBT as leading treatment recommended by licensed psychologists for pathological lying; 90% of people report interacting with a pathological liar; habit reversal training effective.

CBT works by helping individuals recognise the cognitive distortions that maintain lying behaviour — beliefs such as 'My real self is not interesting enough' or 'No one will care about me unless something dramatic is happening.' Through structured sessions, clients learn to challenge these beliefs, develop healthier self-narratives, and build authentic social skills. A specific CBT technique called habit reversal training can be implemented for individuals whose lying is largely automatic — helping them gain awareness about where and when lying occurs most frequently and then implementing non-lying behaviours in those situations [3]Verified Can Pathological Liars Be Cured? / Pathological Lying: Psychotherapists' Experiences and Ability to Diagnose
Confirms CBT as leading treatment recommended by licensed psychologists for pathological lying; 90% of people report interacting with a pathological liar; habit reversal training effective.

CBT is generally a structured, evidence-based treatment. While the specific number of sessions varies by individual and the severity of the lying behaviour, research has shown some success with CBT in decreasing lie-telling behaviour and improving mood [3]Verified Can Pathological Liars Be Cured? / Pathological Lying: Psychotherapists' Experiences and Ability to Diagnose
Confirms CBT as leading treatment recommended by licensed psychologists for pathological lying; 90% of people report interacting with a pathological liar; habit reversal training effective. Combined with ongoing practice of honesty skills, CBT provides a practical, goal-oriented framework for change.

Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) and Other Approaches

Dialectical Behavior Therapy, originally developed by Marsha Linehan in the 1980s for borderline personality disorder, has shown strong evidence for treating emotional dysregulation — a core driver of attention-seeking lying. DBT combines elements of CBT with mindfulness techniques and teaches patients to regulate emotions, tolerate distress, and improve interpersonal relationships [3]Verified Can Pathological Liars Be Cured? / Pathological Lying: Psychotherapists' Experiences and Ability to Diagnose
Confirms CBT as leading treatment recommended by licensed psychologists for pathological lying; 90% of people report interacting with a pathological liar; habit reversal training effective. Randomised controlled trials have found that DBT is effective in reducing emotional dysregulation and increasing coping skills [16]Verified Emotion Regulation in Schema Therapy and Dialectical Behavior Therapy
Confirms both DBT and Schema therapy effective for BPD and emotional dysregulation; DBT directly focuses on acquisition of emotion regulation skills.

All four DBT modules — mindfulness, distress tolerance, emotion regulation, and interpersonal effectiveness — contribute to reducing the impulse to lie for attention by addressing the underlying emotional needs driving the behaviour [16]Verified Emotion Regulation in Schema Therapy and Dialectical Behavior Therapy
Confirms both DBT and Schema therapy effective for BPD and emotional dysregulation; DBT directly focuses on acquisition of emotion regulation skills. DBT is especially valuable for individuals whose attention-seeking lying is connected to personality disorders or trauma histories.

Mindfulness practices, whether as part of DBT or as standalone interventions, show significant promise. Neuroscience research demonstrates that mindfulness meditation enhances prefrontal cortex function and connectivity while reducing amygdala reactivity to emotional stimuli [17]Verified Neurobiological Changes Induced by Mindfulness and Meditation: A Systematic Review
Confirms mindfulness leads to reduced amygdala size and reactivity; enhanced prefrontal cortex function and connectivity; improved emotional regulation capacity. A systematic review confirmed that mindfulness can lead to reduced size and reactivity in the amygdala, improving capacity for emotional regulation [17]Verified Neurobiological Changes Induced by Mindfulness and Meditation: A Systematic Review
Confirms mindfulness leads to reduced amygdala size and reactivity; enhanced prefrontal cortex function and connectivity; improved emotional regulation capacity. For attention-seeking liars, this improved emotional regulation can reduce the desperate impulse to fabricate in pursuit of validation.

Some individuals may also benefit from psychodynamic therapy to explore unconscious factors driving lying behaviour, or from couples and family therapy when lying has damaged relational dynamics. Because lying is inherently relational, group therapy settings allow people to work on interpersonal skills in a supported environment [3]Verified Can Pathological Liars Be Cured? / Pathological Lying: Psychotherapists' Experiences and Ability to Diagnose
Confirms CBT as leading treatment recommended by licensed psychologists for pathological lying; 90% of people report interacting with a pathological liar; habit reversal training effective.

Supporting Someone Who Lies for Attention

If someone you care about lies for attention, your approach matters significantly. Confrontation alone rarely works — people with deep-seated lying patterns often respond to direct accusation with defensiveness, denial, or escalation. Instead, consider expressing concern without judgment, focusing on how the behaviour affects the relationship rather than labelling the person as a 'liar.'

Set clear, consistent boundaries about what behaviours you will and will not accept. Follow through on stated consequences, as inconsistency can reinforce the lying pattern. Encourage professional help — suggesting therapy as a positive step rather than a punishment. Where appropriate, offer to participate in couples or family therapy.

The success of treatment for pathological lying relies heavily on the liar's desire to change, but support from friends and loved ones plays a crucial role in recovery [3]Verified Can Pathological Liars Be Cured? / Pathological Lying: Psychotherapists' Experiences and Ability to Diagnose
Confirms CBT as leading treatment recommended by licensed psychologists for pathological lying; 90% of people report interacting with a pathological liar; habit reversal training effective. Be patient with the process — changing deeply ingrained patterns takes time, and setbacks are common. Look after your own mental health — compassion fatigue is real, and you cannot help someone else if you are depleted yourself.

For those navigating the complex emotions after discovering a pattern of attention-seeking deception, our guide on overcoming emotional infidelity provides relevant strategies, as the emotional dynamics share many parallels.

Developmental Context and When to Be Concerned

It is developmentally normal for children to experiment with lying. Research confirms that by age four, 90% of children understand the concept of lying [3]Verified Can Pathological Liars Be Cured? / Pathological Lying: Psychotherapists' Experiences and Ability to Diagnose
Confirms CBT as leading treatment recommended by licensed psychologists for pathological lying; 90% of people report interacting with a pathological liar; habit reversal training effective. As children develop socially, they learn to use deception as a social tool — and some degree of attention-seeking behaviour through exaggeration is entirely typical.

However, persistent and extreme attention-seeking lying in children or adolescents may signal underlying issues that warrant professional attention. Warning signs include lying that occurs frequently and across multiple contexts, lying that seems compulsive rather than strategic, significant escalation over time, lying accompanied by other behavioural concerns, and lying that continues despite clear negative consequences.

The consensus in developmental psychology is that pathological lying patterns often begin in childhood or adolescence and continue throughout a person's life if left unaddressed [18]Verified When Does Compulsive Lying Become a Pathological Disorder?
Confirms pathological lying often begins in childhood/adolescence and continues throughout life; DBT has seen success in treating compulsive lying. Early intervention is therefore crucial. Parents should respond to attention-seeking lying by addressing the underlying need — providing adequate attention, validation, and emotional support through appropriate channels — while consistently establishing that lying has consequences.

DBT-adapted programmes for adolescents have shown particular promise in addressing emotional dysregulation that drives attention-seeking behaviour in young people [16]Verified Emotion Regulation in Schema Therapy and Dialectical Behavior Therapy
Confirms both DBT and Schema therapy effective for BPD and emotional dysregulation; DBT directly focuses on acquisition of emotion regulation skills. Understanding the motives behind deceptive behaviour can help parents respond constructively rather than punitively.

Balancing Compassion with Accountability

The ethics of addressing attention-seeking lying are complex. On one hand, chronic lying causes real harm to others and must be addressed. On the other, many attention-seeking liars are themselves suffering — driven by genuine psychological pain, unresolved trauma, or clinical conditions that impair their ability to regulate behaviour.

Pathological lying is not currently recognised as a standalone diagnosis in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5), though recent research has supported it as a diagnostic entity with unique, valid, and discernible symptoms [3]Verified Can Pathological Liars Be Cured? / Pathological Lying: Psychotherapists' Experiences and Ability to Diagnose
Confirms CBT as leading treatment recommended by licensed psychologists for pathological lying; 90% of people report interacting with a pathological liar; habit reversal training effective. This gap in formal recognition means that individuals who lie pathologically may struggle to access appropriate treatment, with many reporting that they cannot find professionals trained or specialised in treating this condition [3]Verified Can Pathological Liars Be Cured? / Pathological Lying: Psychotherapists' Experiences and Ability to Diagnose
Confirms CBT as leading treatment recommended by licensed psychologists for pathological lying; 90% of people report interacting with a pathological liar; habit reversal training effective.

Effective intervention requires balancing compassion for the liar's underlying pain with accountability for the harm their behaviour causes. This balance is reflected in the approach of polygraph testing — providing objective verification while supporting therapeutic goals. Understanding the broader historical context of deception detection, from early pioneers like Harold Burtt to modern approaches, helps frame polygraph examination as a tool for healing rather than punishment.

As the pioneering critic David Lykken noted, the science of deception detection continues to evolve. The goal should always be to use these tools ethically and constructively — helping people move toward honesty rather than simply catching them in lies.